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Dear Apple

Dear Apple published on 2 Comments on Dear Apple

Dear Apple,

I have been a loyal “Apple Fangirl,” as my nephew calls me, for several years after I purchased my first Apple product:  A 13-inch, aluminum-bodied Macbook.  After enduring years of Windows angst, I had finally found computing Nirvana.  Once I’d tasted of the Silicon Fruit, I couldn’t get enough of it.

Besides my Macbook, I have owned this

 

and this

and this

.

Your products have always delighted me.  Like a favorite band that comes out with a new album and knowing that I would love it before I’d heard a single track, I pre-ordered an iPad Mini, sight unseen.  I loved it straight from the box; it was a joy to use.

And then I tried using my iTunes account – the one I’ve used for many years without a hitch – to download content onto my new iPad Mini.  In addition to entering my password – twice – I was required to answer two out of three security questions, the answers to which I apparently did not remember because I continued to receive the following message:  “You did not provide the correct answer to one or both of your security questions. If you continue to provide incorrect answers, your Apple ID will be locked and you will be unable to make any purchases while it remains locked.”

After being unable to produce the correct answers, I was locked out of my own account.  For eight hours.  After my probationary eight-hour lockout had expired, I tried again.  I was locked out for another eight hours.  So I called Customer Service.

After being on hold for at least ten minutes, I was connected to a very nice woman named Molly who asked me some questions to verify that I was, indeed, who I said I was.  This included my birthdate, the serial number of my iPad Mini, and a special code that she sent to my device which I accurately recited back to her.  Once she was satisfied that I was who I claimed to be, she informed me that while I had been locked out of my own account, she could still try typing in answers and that her answers would not be case sensitive.

Great.  Not that capitalizing words is a big problem for me, but she was offering me more tries, so I was willing to give it a shot.

So I recited to her my possible answers, and she typed them in for me. Until she, too, was locked out of my account.

At this point, I was offered two choices:

1.  Have them call me back after the eight-hour lock-out had expired so we could try again.
2.  Wait eight hours and call them back to try again.

I explained to Molly that I had already given her all the possible answers I could think of for my security questions.  What I really needed was for her to override my account security settings and reset them so that I could regain access to my own funds.

But no.  Apparently, she did not have the authority to do that.

What the hell, Apple?

I’m still loving my iPad Mini, but right now, I’ve got to be honest:  Right now, you suck!

How many collective neurons had to misfire for you to think this was an acceptable way to manage your security issues?  Not cool, Apple.  Not cool.

Right now, you’re so deep in the doghouse with me, you don’t even get to sleep on the couch, but I’m pretty sure  the bathtub’s free.

Get it together, Apple.

Sincerely,
Suzanna Juby, Angry Apple User

2 Comments

hmm… this confirms my cavewoman practice to write stuff in little notebooks…add the fact that they aren’t able to meet demand for the mini, because trying to get one is like buying a lottery ticket for a million dollars thinking you’ll win.

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