There is one rule in my home that applies to everyone: No jumping onto the countertops!
Humans don’t seem to have a problem with this. Felines, on the other hand, do.
Recently, I caught my giant orange tabby, Geoffrey, in flagrante delicto – caught red-handed or, in his case, red-pawed – on top of the counter, and he knows better.
Earlier, I had placed some quarters there because I was doing laundry and needed them for the machines downstairs. Geoffrey had hopped up onto the counter, spotted the coins and was engrossed in biffing them one at a time off the countertop and onto the floor.
He was subsequently arrested without incident and released on $5 bail, but he did not appear for his court date on August 10.
Geoffrey is an orange and white tabby cat with black and white whiskers and black freckles on his nose. He also goes by the names “Geofferson,” Geoffeffernüsse,” and “Tiny.”
If you have any information as to the whereabouts of Geoffrey, do not attempt to apprehend him, as he is considered armed and dangerous (claws and fangs).
Please call the Feline Fugutive Tip Hotline at 555-Bad-Cats. A reward of six cans of Fancy Feast is being offered for any information leading to Geoffrey’s arrest.